Prog 9 - Dan Dare

Dan has agreed to betray his comrades. Monday doesn't take to kindly to Dares sudden betrayal and proceeds to strangle the life out of him by using the ancient Martian art of Vi-Kin. Dare's Living Axe watches on waiting to be called by his master as Monday holds Dare in a Death-Lock!
Dare whispers to Monday that he was playing the Biog Mind and Monday agrees to surrender on behalf of all his crew. The Biog Mind is pleased. Meanwhile while the Odyssey is being attacked by Biogs...
Dan orders the Odyssey to stop firing and when he gives the word they are to warp themselves off planet asap! Commander Milton tells Dare that they tried warping out before but the ships hull won't take it. Finally with himself and the landing party onboard, Dan tells Milton to feed all the ships power to the warp drive including the power for lights and airsystem etc.

The Biog Mind, betrayed, screams in pain as the Odyssey warps (burns) its way out of the Biog Mothership!
Milton congratulates Dare and Monday...he thinks the worst is over and done with as a mass fleet of earth starships arrive. But it's only the beginning of a bigger battle and Dare and crew are caught in the middle.
So ends another craptacular episode of Dan Dare.

The Biog Mind is one dumb alien. Why didn't the Mind have some Biogs escort Dare to and on the ship to make sure he complied with the Minds wishes?

Again the crew refer to Dare as DD. Way too casual and they take orders from him even though Monday is their commanding officer. Monday has been relegated to being Dan Dares bitch!

And is that a shower head that Rodann is using on Milton? Weird!

One cool thing from this progs strip is The Living Axe waiting in the wings to be called to his masters side. That was cool...a shame the axe didn't follow Dare back onto the ship. It would have been great to see it pop up now and again in future Dare stories.

Prog 8 - Judge Dredd

Dredd gets the call from HQ just as the car drives past him. Dredd turns off his lawmaster lights, switches on his infra-red night sight on his helmet and follows at a distance behind the stolen car..er..piece of art. It's not the first car 'Art theft' in that sector and he wants to get to the Mr. Big and his cronies behind the crimes.

The car pulls into Krilz Kars Auto Market...as Krilz appears he notices Judge Dredd walking towards the building. He shouts for the doors to be shut...but Dredd uses a high explosive and blasts the doors apart. He enters and tells Krilz that he's under arrest. Krilz orders one of his men to shoot Dredd with his 'plastic skin spray-gun' Dredd is blinded and Krilz men move in for the kill, but before they do, they want Dredd to remove his helmet...Dredd obliges, to the shock and horror of Krilz and his gang.
With the gang in shock...Dredd guns them down. He removes the plastic from his helmet, puts it back on and pursues an escaping Krilz!

Outside Krilz is on a high speed 'walk-eezee' (A moving sidewalk)trying to escape Dredd. He shouts at Dredd that he'll never catch him. Dredd has other ideas and orders the walk-eezee to go in reverse. Dredd gets his man.

This is the worst Dredd story to date. Dredds quip at the end about the law should never be put in reverse just made me groan out loud. This was Charles Herring's only Dredd story and thank Grud for that. This was simply horrifying. Herring only wrote one more script for 2000ad and it's a MACH 1 script in Prog 12....my money is on it being really bad too.

The problem with the script is...everything! Since when is grand theft auto a 'art' crime? Doesn't make sense, and then we have Dredd take off his helmet to reveal his face. I think at this time they were toying around with the idea that Dredd is a cyborg or an alien or something that makes his face so shocking for people to look at. Really stupid idea. It's not the first time Dredd would remove his helmet but the other times make more sense than this idiotic one.

It seems that Mills was scraping the bottom of the barrel to run this story. He must have sighed a huge sigh of relief when Wagner returned with 'Robots' in the next prog.

Art wise, it's horrible too. Not Belardinellis best work and it looks totally unsuitable for Dredd. It's so lifeless and stale. You can tell that Belardinelli was trying his hardest to imitate McMahon in some of his Dredd poses. It just didn't work for him.

Prog 8 - Dan Dare

Ziggy has incapacitated the Shepherd and she takes control of the ship by plugging the ships controls into her head! She closes all the airlocks, crushing and stopping the Biogs from entering the ship.
She wonders how long they can hold out before the Biogs break through. Meanwhile, Dan and the rest of the Jupiter survey party have seen the Odyssey get swallowed whole by the Biog ship and Dan decides to follow them, even though a member of the crew wants to cut and run.

They enter the Biog ship and embark to find the Odyssey. As they make their way to find the ship, they are 'attacked' by the Biog ships anti-bodies.
They are taken to what looks like a vast junction of veins...it's the ships brain! The 'blobs' dissolve and a huge voice booms in the 'spacers' minds..."Hear me. intruders...I am the mind of the ship..you are at my mercy.." Dare is obstinate...the 'mind' lashes out.
Dare asks the 'mind' what does it want. It responds..."FUEL!". It tells Dare that if he can get the crew of the Odyssey out of the ship that he will reward him with 'everlasting life'. Monday is amazed that the 'mind' has displayed a human characteristic...Betrayal.

To the crews amazement, Dare thinks it's a good idea. Hmmm...Seems that after last issues coolness of the Living Axe we've gone back to mediocrity. Oh well. Only Belardinelli's funky cosmic art is saving this strip at the moment.

Prog 7 - Dan Dare

Dan kills the Shepherd guards and Monday sets free what was left of the landing crew.
Now defenseless, Dan attacks the Mother Biog with his Living Axe!
The Biogs and their city are totally dependent on the Mother Biog. As she is dying...everything begins to fall apart. Dan has to get his crew off-planet before the Mother Biog explodes. The Shepherds try and stop him and his landing party from reaching their ship.
They escape from the planet but something else awaits them in space...
The Living Axe is such a bizarre concept only Belardinelli's artwork can do it any justice. This episode was pretty fast paced and moves the story along beautifully.

Another nice cliffhanger. One thing that I loved 2000ad for, was it's cliffhangers. They always made me eager to rush down to the newsagents each week and find out what's going to happen to my favorite heroes.

Prog 7 - Cover

The covers are getting better! Belardinelli did and excellent job on this one. I love the speech balloon too...a nice sense of shock and danger to it.

Prog 6 - Dan Dare

The Thing has total control of the Odyssey and Dan, Monday and whats left of the landing party have been taken to the Biogs base. They are released from their captors stomach and now they face a welcoming committee of aliens that are identical to the 'Thing' that has taken control of the ship.
The creatures tell Dare and company their backstory. That they are a race of aliens called 'The Shepherds' and they live to serve their masters The Biogs. The Biogs lived on a planet called Zircon and The Shepherds on their moon. The Biogs grow their houses and machines from living tissue and they use live fuel to do this. When The Biogs conquered their race they made some of them slaves and the rest the Mother Biog turned into fuel. But sadly The Shepherds home planet can't produce enough fuel for them so they set up a new home on Jupiter and plan to use it as a base to take over the Earth and use humans as their fuel source.

Dare doesn't fancy being turned into fuel and insults The Biogs by calling them 'slimy bugs'. The Shepherds are deeply offended by this and they attack Dan. They're going to kill him. Dan fights back.
A Shepherd then attacks Dan with a Living Axe...
A Biog turns red and the Shepherd holds off his attack on Dare. The Biog is angry that the Shepherd is wasting fuel and the human must be taken to the Mother Biog and be 'converted'.

Monday sees his chance and runs the alien through with one of its own spears. Dan grabs the Living Axe and they decide to fight their way to freedom.
This wasn't too bad. Not any of the usual craziness of the past few episodes. Although a Living Axe is pretty wacky. Now we know why the 'Thing' was aboard the ship. It's trying to steer to ship to the Mother Biog so the human crew can be 'converted' to fuel.

The problem though is, in the first episode, the ship was broken apart and the humans seemed to be sucked down to the planet. Why didn't the Biogs do this with the Odyssey instead of beaming a Shepherd on board? Makes no sense to me.

Also, we have the usual cliched 'I'm going to tell you our whole backstory before we kill you' speech. Which is fine because 2000ad was a publication catering totally to young kids back then. Probably wouldn't fly to spill the whole can of beans in a couple of pages today though. Storytelling has gotten a little bit more complicated since then.

A fun episode and a definite improvement on what went before.

Prog 5 - Dan Dare

Dare and crew are face to face with Jupiters resident aliens. You'd think if you wanted to open up some decent communication with alien life forms you'd stop referring to their appearance as 'vile'. Oh well, not that it matters as the aliens attack anyway.

One crew member gets sucked up alive! And another creature turns to attack Dare. With Mondays help Dare cracks off a huge hunk of titanium crystal and as the alien attacks he shoves it up the aliens vacuum hole! (I know,it sounds really weird right?) With it's air passage blocked, the alien...explodes!

Dan and Monday are knocked unconscious. When they come too, they realise that they've been sucked up inside one of the aliens. (So much for their plan of shoving crystal up their blowholes!) Officer French is there too...but alas, he's dead!
Monday comes to the conclusion that the aliens are using their stomachs to transfer them to their base. How he comes to this conclusion, I haven't a clue but he does remember an old earth story...
Could Monday be referring to Jonah? I think so, and he called him insane. Nice bit of religious subversion there.

Meanwhile back on the Odyssey...the thing from Jupiter is trying to take control of the ship.
The thing manages to take over the 'control' bubble...and now commands the Odyssey!
Pretty standard installment of Dan Dare and not too wacky when compared with the previous episodes.

It's still pretty ridiculous, though. Why would the thing need a spaceship? Maybe that question will be answered next prog.

Prog 4 - Dan Dare

Seriously!

Can Dan Dare get much worse? The script on just the center spread alone is atrociously bad! Kelvin Gosnell wrote the script for this crap. Thank God he got waaaay better with his adaptation of 'Stainless Steel Rat'.

Check out the dialogue on this page. We have a crew member referring to Dan as DD! Maybe it was hip to refer to people by their initials! I would have smacked him for the lack of respect. Then again, Dare does have his initials in big bold letters on his chest!

And Dare is 'posi-sure' he can land the craft. What the heck is that language. Posi-sure?!?

And poor Neil Armstrong gets forgotten about in the future. Not bloody likely...but there you go. Also, Dare is a 'spacer'...now, I don't know about you but when I was growing up a 'Spacer' was slang for a lunatic or whackjob!

This center spread just reads so weird and on top of the freaky dialogue we get Dare landing on an island of crystal titanium floating on a sea of boiling metal!

Seems like Mr.Gosnell has been smoking the funny stuff!

After safely navigating through the storm, Dan lands the craft on Jupiters surface. The crew put on their space suits and venture outside. The suits have been adapted to survive the rigors of Jupiters high gravity.

'Spacer' Logan picks up readings of a power source nearby. Monday, Dare and crew follow Logan's lead. But the power source is too strong for Logans suit to handle and we get where the cover idea for this prog came from...
Which makes me ask the question...Why are the rest of the party still alive? Surely, they have the same type of spacesuits on!

The crew come face to face with the power source and Dan, more or less, tells Monday to shut his face while he wants to know what the alien is planning on doing with them and what connection it has to with the creature back on the 'Odyssey'. We leave Dan to ponder what's next and switch back to the Odyssey and the Medic Sector. Doctor Ziggy can't figure out what the purpose of the creature is. While she's trying to figure that out...the creature manages to get itself loose from it's glass cage and surprises the good doctor. Again, Dare suffers from bad script writing. Not even Belardinelli's wonderfully bizarre alien creatures can save it.

Hopefully, the next episode will be better.

I live in hope!

Prog 3 - Mach 1

We're treated to two strips of excellent artwork this issue by Massimo Belardinelli.
Belardinelli would hit his stride later drawing strips like Inferno, Meltdown Man and the absolutely hilarious ACE Trucking Co. Oh, and I actually like his Slaine work.

The latest MACH 1 story opens up with a flashback of a NATO battleship sinking to it's watery grave. Some days later MACH 1 and his superior Sharpe arrive with recovery vessels at the scene of the ships last reported spot. But there's a fishing trawler there. Probe asks Sharpe why the British Navy doesn't intervene. Sharpe replies that they don't want to risk an International incident if the trawler does turn out to be a harmless fishing vessel.

No, this investigation is a job for MACH 1!

Probe dives into the water. No wet suit for this guy! Wet suits are for wimps!
As he nears the 'trawler' Probe notices that the men on the trawler are armed. It's just as Sharpe suspected...it's a ruse. But why and who could be behind it?

There is no way that MACH 1 can get aboard the ship, there are no holds for him to get a grip...so, he gets onboard...
...dolphin style!
Once onboard, Probe sees that the 'trawler' is trying to raise the NATO ship to reveal it's secrets and that he wouldn't be surprised if the 'trawler' crew are the ones that sank the ship in the first place.

He decides to stop them from recovering the ship by blowing up the engine room. But he's stopped in his tracks! He's grabbed by a 'trawler' crew member in a power assisted diving suit!
A fight ensues! No matter how hard Probe punches the diver...it does no damage. The divers suit is made from high-stress titanium can!

MACH 1's computerised brain tells him that there is no solution to beating his assailant. This pisses him off...he gets mad and the extra adrenalin enables him to overthrow his opponent.
He throws the diver into an electric cable and the diver is fried instantly!
Knowing that his actions have alerted the rest of the crew, Probe makes his way down to the engine room.
He breaks the Oil lubrication pipe...forcing the engine of the ship to seize up and blow it to kingdom come...but the computer tells him that it may come with a price...his life!

On fire from the explosion...Probe jumps off the ship and swims to safety! The ship explodes and Sharpe is not pleased. He reminds probe that he was sent to 'investigate' not 'annihialte'. It won't be the first time Probe and Sharpe have a disagreement.
We end on an omnious note that God help us 'If ever MACH 1 turns against us...'

Nice episode. Nice artwork and the script develops the relationship between Sharpe and Probe. The relationship turns frosty at times and eventually leads to a breakdown between both parties.

Check out the 'please don't imitate this at home kids!' box. Love it!

Prog 3 - Dan Dare

The thing from Jupiter goes on a rampage!
Commander Monday wants it dead...Dare thinks otherwise.

He attacks the creature, trying to subdue it...but it has enormous strength!
The strength of a Super-Nova Star!
Dan figures that it's weak spot must be it's 'horns'...so, he pulls on them. Which leads me to the question...how the hell did he know that? The writing is so bad on this strip, it's actually amazing! I'd love to see Frank Miller rewrite this as 'All Star Dan Dare'!

Anyways, Dan's crazy move works and the creature is knocked unconscious. What a stupid place to put a weak spot. They could have picked anywhere, but no, they go for the most visible place...the 'horns' on it's head!
Looks like the creature had an orgasm. Well, so would you if you had your horn pulled!

With the creature unconcious they move it to the medic bay where doctor Ziggy Rodann (Seriously, that's her name!) examines it. She comes to the conclusion that the creature was biologically engineered because of it's strange physiology. The thing has no mouth and can communicate telepathically, it also has a brain three times the size of a normal human and it has built in solar panels on it's stomach that replenishes it's energy!

And it also has...extra muscles. Which leads to our crazy named doctor stating the obvious!Which, again, leads me to another question. How would the good doctor know the muscles are extra if she's never seen a creature like that before?

Dan and Monday decide to find out whereabouts on Jupiter the creature came from but not before the doctor decides to throw an insult at her commanding officer. The next two pages are of Dan, Monday and crew entering a craft to go land on Jupiter. Nothing much happens on the two pages, just descriptions of what type of craft they're using and the strangeness of space...yadda, yadda, yadda!

But we can't leave the strip without a cliffhanger, and the last panel provides it. As the craft approaches Jupiters atmosphere...it's hit by a jovian radio storm!
And that's it till next time.

I can see why Dan Dare was the weakest strip in the 2000ad line-up. It's written so badly and Dare himself doesn't seem to have any good characterization. It's such a disappointment. Even though 2000ad would later try and revamp Dare again with a Dirty Dozen/Star Trek take, and yet again with a Superhero take, it's not hard to see that Dan Dare in 2000ad is like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole.

It would become even more obvious as the strip went on in comparision with other strips.

Prog 2 - DAN DARE

Dare, not waiting to be court marshalled, has stowed away on a ship heading to Jupiter. He wants to uncover the mystery of what happened to his last crew.

But...Dan has been spotted by a guard.

What's amazing from the center spread above is...look how crazy the inside of the ship is in that second panel! How the heck did Dare get spotted and how the heck do the guards manage to find their way around the ship?

It's an Escher-like nightmare!

And the guards are going to 'molecularise him 'on sight! A bit of a harsh penalty for a stowaway.

Dan fights the guard and delivers an awesomely bad/good punchline.
'It's called...FIST!'
Two other guards rush to help their compatriot but accidently get fried by the gun of the gaurd that Dan is trying to knock out. Notice Dan's matter of fact response...
The commander of the ship - Mr. Monday is getting a debriefing of Dares whereabouts when Dare appears. Monday asks Dan to explain himself and Dan relates the story of his last trip past Jupiter. Monday doesn't believe him because Jupiter is a hell-planet and is incapable of supporting life. He orders Dares immediate execution.

The ship is just passing Jupiter at the time when Dan is about to bite the dust when a wave of pure energy hits the ship causing a bit of chaos and then forms an alien creature in front of Dan's and Monday's eyes.

Enter the Thing from the Hell Planet....
And that's how we end this little chapter.

Again Dare seems to be the weakest strip in the early issues of 2000ad. It's not hard to see why..the dialogue is painful and a lot of the story doesn't make sense...the inside of the ship for example and the guards shooting on sight!

Also, if you were going to be a fugitive on the run wouldn't you at least remove the initials of your name from the front of your shirt.

Oh well...it does get better!

Until next installment...I leave you with a pic of my favorite martian...Mr.Monday!